It's OK to be Different

For the first time in my life i feel like i made a choice that wasn't influenced by society. Like i said, i've always wanted to have this kind of hair but what stopped me? It's the thought that society won't accept different and society has this specific criteria for beauty. But i'm happy that for once i did not succumb to the beauty standards of the world. And after doing this, inside i felt set free! Like i'm another step away from my insecurity.

For someone struggling with insecurity, this is a big deal. It's a big mountain that i climbed and that's why i feel so happy. Not everyone likes my hair. probably most people don't but i did't shave (1/3 of) my head for them. I did this for me.

Don't let the world dictate your appearance. As long as its fine in the eyes of God and it's not causing anyone to stumble, go for it! Do not be a prisoner of the standards of this world.

"People look on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart." 1 samuel 16:7

And i also find it funny how some people immediately think that it's a form of rebellion. Hahaha! I do believe many people conform to society because of fear of their criticism, and or rejection. And i do believe each person is different and will make different choices if given the opportunity and acceptance to be different:)

DO IT!

so i got my hair cut today... cut.. more like shaved:)) i shaved one side of my head. i've always wanted to do this but it was never the hairstyle that was normally accepted by society so i never pushed through with it, but after two of my friends had their hair done that way, i decided to just go on with it.

i'm very ecstatic about it. i love it! i love my hair even if i know many people don't like it:)) i'm actually very proud of myself because i usually really cared about what people thought but this time around i'm not gonna let society dictate what i want. i did what i've always wanted to do without the influence of society, and i'm very happy.

and this is my hair:)

SING TO ME

a song i wrote for my grandmother. she's in the USA now. she's living there. she, along with my grandfather, and my auntie, have been there since i was in grade three. i miss them so much. at first i couldn't finish this song smoothly cause i was choking by the end, trying not to cry. hahahaa! but yeah. it's a really nice song.

love you mommy lola. i hope you like it. and i know you will cry so be ready with tissue as you listen:)

HERE YOU GO CLICK THIS

Remember when I was a child

Youd tuck me in every night

Sing me a lullaby

Before you kissed me goodnight

I pray with my heart

 As I lay myself to sleep

That one day youll be here with me

Sing to me once more

Like you did before

And everything will be complete

Songs that we shared

Our little duets

Though so long ago

Still embraces my soul

I pray with my heart

 As I lay myself to sleep

That one day youll be here with me

Sing to me once more

Like you did before

And everything will be complete

Come home

come home

dont leave anymore

stay here

stay here

dont walk out the door

dont walk out the door

I pray with my heart

 As I lay myself to sleep

That one day youll be here with me

Sing to me once more

Like you did before

And everything will be complete

my beautiful one

this is called, my beautiful one. i'll probably share a little bit about this song. i was going through a rough time with insecurities, the original lyrics of this song didn't send a good message, and it brought me down further. so i did my devotions, and i read song of solomon. its a wonderful book in the bible. it can be and illustration of Jesus' love for the church but it leans more on the love of a husband and wife.

for all the girls who struggle with insecurity, this is for you. God loves you no matter what you look like, no matter how imperfect you are.

MY BEAUTIFUL ONE 

click me

You never feel pretty enough

Staring at your reflection

Close your eyes, you see the girl

You could be. You wish in your heart

           

Hoping that one day I’ll see

That girl in the mirror, smiling beautifully.

You are my child you’re special

 don’t you think you are not and just remember you are

My beloved

You are mine

My beautiful one!

Insecurity, consuming you

Resisting, losing the fight

Jesus please, be with me

Embrace me, I need you Lord

I am weak but I know you’re strong

Oh God, the lover of my soul.

Take my tears as an offering Lord,

Hear your daughter’s crying spirit tonight

My beloved

You are mine

My beautiful one

Lovely

Wonderful

You are worth

  

I know you more than anyone else

I love you nevertheless    

My daughter just remember you are

My lily among the thorns

Nothing can separate you from my love

just a sec

another cutsie song:)) i hope you enjoy it. i just realized i have to start posting my lyrics so people can actually understand the words i'm saying so here.

listen HERE

or HERE

or HERE

(verse 1)
i saw you from across the block
it got hot and everything stopped
sweat coming out of my little hands
my heart doing a little dance

(chorus)
oh my god. just a sec.
hold on let me catch my breath
cause when you are around
oxygen's nowhere to be found

can you stay away
before my heart will utter to say
these words are for you
dont you know that mmm mmm mmm

(verse 2)
pretty please will you shut up now
dont you dare make another sound
cause if you sing another song
my beating heart might just sing along

(chorus)

(verse 3)
the heck are you doing so close to me
can you hear me breathing uncontrollably
why are you reaching out your hand
or am i just daydreaming again

(chorus)

(bridge)
im about to run away from you
before that hug me just another second or two
wait i change my mind ill just stay a bit longer
from this moment until we reach forever and ever

(chorus)

woopsies!

this is the 3rd song i made. it's called woopsies. You won't really hear me singing that much, it's more of me sounding like im ranting hahahaha:)) but in the chorus it gets really high so im falsetto-ing my way to that:))

my excuse is that the chords change fast so i got stuck with the key of c:))) which is high for me since i am an A person. oh well.

i hope you enjoy the lyrics and the very cute tune. it could pass for a nursery rhyme:))

OH AND IM SORRY FOR THE POOR RECORDING. MY MIC BROKE</3

CLICK ME TO LISTEN

or me

or me

or me if all else fails:))




LISTEN TO MY COVERS?

I'LL BE YOUR FRIEND

this is a song i wrote a few weeks back. don't ask me the story behind it or who it's for etc. i just want people to hear my song and maybe they can relate to it, but the story behind it is mine. make your own stories with this song:)

ENJOY!:)

CLICK HERE TO LISTEN!!

or maybe HERE if its not working

this little girl

i apologize because i wasnt always right
i apologize because i hurt you tonight
i apologize because i didnt think of you
i apologize because of what i do

now i see the fruit of my labor
all that is written in this paper
youre reaping all that i have sown
i should have just been alone

now too scared to get up on stage
to continue on the very next page
to dance and leap and glide again
to believe and know that you truly can

are you able to get up once more
after falling so many times before
is it possible to fly with broken wings
will you still live out our dreams

fear came from what has been
through all of the things ive known and seen
i could have thought and saved it all
but who could have known when she would fall

dont lose hope, i know your strength
a wonderful future at an arm's length
listen when i say please forgive me
-  a letter from the little girl you used to be

for my family

what i desire for my family is that one day...

* we will have family devotions time/bible study.
* we children will honor our parents just as God has intended for us to do
* our parents will be leading this family according to God's Word
* we will all share in our deep love for Jesus
* my brothers will be teaching in cell groups
* my parents will be serving in the church
* this house will be God's house.
* my family will have Jesus in the center

never stop

i greatly admire those christians who continue to walk in faith even if their families aren't christians. if you are one of those people, i salute you. it's not easy submitting to parents who are unbelievers. it's not easy praying for your family and having them despise you for wanting them to be saved. it's not easy seeing your family do things that aren't pleasing in God's eyes. you wish you could just pick them up, drop them in church, then BAM they love God. but it's not that easy...

you have to get down on your knees a lot. you have to shed a myriad of tears. you have to open yourself up to rejection. you have to be patient and loving and kind. most of all, you have to be brokenhearted for them. deeply in anguish for their spirits. its not about proving your point that there is a God or they need God. its about loving God that you want Him to be worshiped by every soul. its about loving your family that you want them to be saved and be with God in paradise for all eternity.

it hurts. it hurts deeply. but with God, all things are possible. through Jesus, blind eyes are open and strongholds are broken!