day 17- your favorite memory

It’s really hard to brand one memory as my favorite because there are so much that I love. But I’ll just blog about the first thing that pops to my head rightttttt NOW!

On the year that I was turning 17, which was three years ago by the way, I told my mom that I wanted to celebrate my birthday. I just want to have a small gathering with close friends and family, but unfortunately when the iPhone that my aunt gave me got stolen from my bag, all my birthday plans were cancelled.

Of course I was very very sad. I didn’t understand why I was being punished since I did not lose the phone; it was stolen, which makes a big difference. I did not irresponsibly forget to leave my bag somewhere, no, I was with my bag, and my phone was stolen right next to me. I was very upset. In fact, I was crying very hard, because it was my birthday and I was really looking forward to being celebrating it.

While I was crying in my room, my brother, Sam, opens the door, peaks inside and asks, “ate, okay ka lang?” and I just shook my head and I kept crying. I don’t remember how I found out; all I know was that both my brothers talked to my mom and told her to allow me to have my plans. They defended me and said that I had nothing to do with the loss of my phone and that it’s my birthday and that I should enjoy it.

I was really touched by what my brothers did. We were never the mushy type of family, so I appreciate it a lot when simple gestures of love are shown.

We defend each other in secret cause we don’t want to seem so soft. Hahahaha! Kidding. I know we love each other, even if don’t always say it.

day 16- your first kiss

because i have missed a few days, ill just do as many blog posts as the days i have missed so that i could finish this challenge on time AND IM FREE!

This post is quite embarrassing but since I took this challenge, I have to do this.

My first kiss is a funny/horrible memory to relive. I mean of course I had butterflies but it’s more embarrassing than sweet. It’s a day I can never forget because it is one of the most awkward days of my life!

I was with my then-boyfriend and that was the day I said yes, I think. Haha! So it started with just a few smacks, then eventually he kissed me “for real”. I was surprised and caught off guard, and I panicked and didn’t know what to do, so I ended up NOT DOING ANYTHING. I sat there with my mouth half open. CAN ANYONE SAY EMBARRASSING?

And after that, I just kept my head down, because I did not want him to try and kiss me again because I was too embarrassed to have it happen a second time. Hahahahaha

That’s the end of my first kiss story.

I never had a kiss again after, and I really want my next kiss to be with my husband on our wedding day. I’m still praying to God for the strength to only go into a relationship when it is time, and to be in a relationship with the person he intended for me.

Please, to all my young Christians out there, although I already had my first kiss, I don’t encourage it. I wasn’t a Christian yet when I had it, and I really really hope and pray that you wait for the right person and the right time. That’s what I would have done if I knew what I know now. There’s joy in waiting. I’ll save it for a different post!

When I became a Christian I had a second shot at it, and I’m happy to say, I have been faithful to God ever since. Yey! Keep praying! It’s possible ;)

day 15- your dreams

I shall divide my dreams into categories: my dreams for spiritual life, my dreams for my career, my dreams for my family and me.

Spiritual life

Hopefully one day, as I grow deeper in my relationship with God, I become wiser, and become a good mentor to someone. I want to share and teach about God, and help one Christian to grow deeper in the faith.

In my experience as a Christian, my leaders, disciplers, mentors, have helped greatly in my walk with God. I can say that they have been such a blessing to my spiritual growth, and I hope to become a good instrument of God’s love to someone else’s life on day.

Career

After I graduate in my course, BS Family Life and Child Development, I want to work for at least a year first in a good preschool, then I want to pursue getting a master’s degree in psychology, and hopefully a doctorate as well in psychology.

I love being with children, and I am very interested in the minds of these young ones, that’s why I want to teach children one day. I want to be a teacher that will selflessly love her students, and help them learn not only academic lessons, but life lessons that the child will carry around with him/her and will help him/her face the challenges that life will give him/her.

When I get my master’s and doctorates degree, I know it will open more opportunities of work, and I’m keeping my mind open. I am also actually thinking of going into Human Resource, but the longer I stay in my course, the more I learn to love it, and the more I look forward to working with children. I’m also thinking that I can be a child psychologist.

I also want to put up a preschool one day, but when I do, I want to make sure that it will be a good school. In my course, I have observed different preschools, and I’m sad to say that not everyone is offering quality education. What I desire is that I will put up a school that will cater to every need of a child, a school with teachers that will guide the child to developing to his/her full potential in all domains of development.

Family

I dream that one day my whole family will be reunited in one country where we can see and visit each other whenever we please. i miss my grandparents and auntie so much, I wish they could just go home.

I dream that my family will be tight-knitted forever.

I dream that my brothers will grow up to be good, God-fearing, responsible, family-oriented, successful men.

it's not the result, it's the heart

Today wasn’t a good day for the team or myself. I actually had a good morning, so I thought our game was going to be favorable to us, but it didn’t. I am sure each and every single one of my teammates, including myself, wanted to win, and I am sure we all did our best; it was just not our day.

I feel really bad, I’ve actually been crying all day. I don’t think it’s just about my losing. I guess there’s a whole lot more to it; some accumulated issues, but oh well.

Although things didn’t turn out as planned, I still thank God that we are able to play and represent our school and fight. Maybe God is humbling me.

I’m so thankful as well for the people who cheered me up. My teammates, Dubs, Alvee, Martina, Mara, Rachel, Sam, Kuya Walden, Kuya Carlo.

And to the team, I love you all, and I’m still happy to be playing for and with everyone.

Oh and I just remembered how I cried, it felt so dramatic. So it’s my first loss for last year and this year’s UAAP, and after I shook hands with my opponent, I walked to the umpire. Unfortunately, I already felt that my chest was about to explode, and my eyes were already flooding. I walked very fast towards my teammate, bea. She was sitting on the floor and the moment I reached her, I immediately sat down and started crying to her, and she hugged me, sweaty and all.

Thank you, Bea. Your hug meant a lot to me. I love you.

And all my teammates’ pats on my back and meli telling me that it was ok meant so much. I appreciate everything. Ok I wanna cry again. Hahaha! But really guys, Im really thankful for it, I just want you all to know. I’ve been down for the past weeks, and I guess my loss became the opportunity to let it all out, and that huddle when I cried is just what I needed.

Also, thank you to, Kim. When we were inside the bathroom, I was really able to cry it all out and she sat next to me and she whispered that she knew that I did my best, and I know in my heart that I did my best and that’s what matters. She even touched my heart when she said it. Kim, you’re the sweetest friend ever. I love you.

so here are some of today's pictures

joshua and bbd 

bbd, kim, me

bbd, julie, me

kim, dennis, julie

angelo, ram, joshua, kim

zhane

bea

bbd

meds

ate titil

jv

me

2 more years of us

this was one of the fun afternoons i always have with my batchmates. i love them both. it's just gonna be us three for the next 2 years<3

and finally, my favorite picture

No words could express

Back in December of 2010 I spent my Christmas vacation with my family and relatives in Hong Kong. So far, it’s the best vacation I’ve had. It felt good to have days with family. We went to Disney Land and Ocean Park. We went to malls a lot too.

I’m really thankful to have a tight-knit family, and I’m glad I have loving relatives. I am blessed to have relatives like them, so generous, so loving, and so family-oriented.

I miss ate jess and noel already. I wish I’d get to see them more. I miss tito al and mommy ako too actually, because I only get to see them when ate jess and noel are around.

I just want to dedicate this post to the Agra Family. Through them, my family is blessed. Through them, actually, many more are blessed. i can't thank you enough. they have been very kind to me and my family. Mommy ako and tito al are very nice and generous people, and I know that God will bless them more because they bless so many people too.

I really pray to God for this family because I love them so much, and I know He is watching over them. I pray that His will be done in this family, and that He take good care of them. i know for a fact that He will, because He loves them more than I do.

He will never leave me nor forsake me

I’m not sure if everyone has had a point in his or her life where they felt a mental, emotional, spiritual breakdown, but I surely had one. Actually, there were two points in my life where I felt so low, but the only difference between those two experiences was that I didn’t face the second one alone; I had God with me.

The first one I was spiritually down. I was so far from God and I knew it. I knew my life wasn’t making Him happy, but I couldn’t stop. I was a prisoner of sin. It came to the point that I do not pray anymore because I couldn’t face God. I can’t pray to Him and ask for guidance. I can’t pray to Him to ask for forgiveness then wake up the next day and do it all over again. I can’t. I knew in my heart that I was hiding from God.

I still remember that moment before I slept; there was guilt in my heart. I always prayed before I went to sleep. I would tell God about my day, and ask Him to guide my family, and me, and ask for forgiveness, but that night I couldn’t. I lay in my bed trying to sleep but I couldn’t. I felt so uneasy knowing that God is watching me and that he knows me and that he knows what I’ve been doing with my life.  

Months after that night, I became a Christian and my life rotated to 180 degrees. i now hate the things i used to love. i can now say no to temptation and do what God wants me to do. And every time I try to recall the life I used to live before becoming a Christian, I remember that night that I hid from God.

Look at your life right now. Do you know that God is watching you? Do you know that every little thing you say and do, he sees and hears? Do you know that He knows what you’re thinking and what you’re feeling? He knows you more than you know yourself. And I ask, Do you think your life is pleasing God?

Now I go to the second time I felt lowest. Until now I don’t know why it had to happen, but I have my theories. That time of my life, I was experiencing emotional and mental torture. No one knew exactly what I was going through, and when I think of it now, I still break down.

I still can’t talk about it without crying, so I won’t elaborate on it. All I’ll say is that at that time, I had a few people I can count on. So many people in my life that I trusted, disappointed me, and that was the time that I clung to God so hard. Every single day that I awaken, I had to face my goliath. Every single day, I wanted to cry. Every single prayer I had was a prayer for strength.

One day, when I find the strength to, I’d talk about this, but it’s still too much for me.

I just want to say that God is a just God and I know that I went through made me stronger as a person. And as a Christian, my Faith has deepened and blossomed. And I am glad that through all of that I did not run away from God, but rather, I ran to Him.

It’s been 2 years since all of that, and God has made everything right. I am happy to say that because of God’s wonderful love, I am able to forgive everyone that hurt me. I did not hold grudges, and I do not hate them. In fact, I asked God to help me open my heart to love them, and I know I am able to. I won’t say that all the hurt is gone, because obviously it’s not, but I still choose to love these people amidst the pain.

i loved these people before, and i know that hurt only covers the love, so its not gone; it's there!. i know i love these people, and the more that i take away the hurt with God's help, the more i can show these people how much i really do love them.

I actually just finished my devotions on Job 3 – 5 and I want to share these verses.

17 “But consider the joy of those corrected by God! Do not despise the discipline of the Almighty when you sin. 
 

18 For though he wounds, he also bandages. He strikes, but his hands also heal. 
 

19 From six disasters he will rescue you; even in the seventh, he will keep you from evil. 

20 He will save you from death in time of famine, from the power of the sword in time of war. 
 

21 You will be safe from slander and have no fear when destruction comes. 
 

22 You will laugh at destruction and famine; wild animals will not terrify you. 
 

23 You will be at peace with the stones of the field, and its wild animals will be at peace with you. 
 

24 You will know that your home is safe. When you survey your possessions, nothing will be missing. 
 

25 You will have many children; your descendants will be as plentiful as grass! 
 

26 You will go to the grave at a ripe old age, like a sheaf of grain harvested at the proper time!

the crybaby who went to Jollibee

I had fun with my friends today. I really needed the good vibes after crying during training. I broke down after losing to my teammate in a tiebreak match.

I think I expect too much of myself. I agree with coach that I shouldn’t always expect to win. I guess this attitude of mine developed from the times that my parents got mad at me every time I lost back in my age-group days. I think it’s already unconsciously instilled in me mentally and emotionally that losing is unacceptable.

But I don’t want to be like that anymore. I just want to do my best in everything. I don’t want to be too critical of myself anymore. I just want to do things for the joy of it. :)

So here are the pictures I have after our training. I was with meds, kim, bea, bbd, and J V. we ate at Jollibee in katipunan. Then Nicca and Jake rode home with me, and meds is sleeping over!

sophomores

juniors

with kim!

hi jake! hi nicca!


the rest of the pictures will be uploaded to my facebook! 

day 14 - what you wore today

so since its a friday, i dressed up more than i usually would for school because i usually have dinner out with friends since i wait for the traffic to lighten. 

this sweater, i found in a flea market while i was shopping with kim, my friend. 

the skirt is from forever 21. 

the earrings are also from forever 21. 

and i forgot where my shoes are from. hahaha

day 13 - this week

What can I say about this week?

Monday

Although Monday was a holiday because of Chinese New Year, (which I still find very odd btw) I did not get to spend it the way I wanted to because I had so much work to do. So from the moment I woke up till before I slept, I sat in one spot with my laptop and school bag.

But I am glad I got to finish a lot of things anyway! So it doesn’t pile up.  I’ve been balancing my academics pretty well so far. I just hope I can keep it up.

Tuesday

I was late for class, but it worked out well for me.

My teacher takes attendance by index card, and since she took attendance before I arrived, I was still absent, and she put my index card along with the other absent people of that day. turns out there was graded recitation and she was choosing index cards from the pile that had the present people! Gah! So happy! I suck really badly at kasaysayan and I’m so thankful she didn’t call me because I didn’t know what to answer to her questions.

Plus the class is in Filipino. The recitation questions are based on our kasaysayan book, which im having a hard time understanding. Don’t get me wrong I can speak Filipino well, but it’s just that books that are written in Filipino are soooo hard to understand.

Oh and I always play tennis at 10 – 11 am everyday now because I want to have extra hitting time aside from training. Anyway! So I went to the tennis court and I met up with my teammate, meds, and we hit. But the best part about that is that I realized my crush had a tennis class! My other teammate was in that tennis class as well, and she knew I had a crush on him. Anyway to make the long story short, she introduced us! I was so embarrassed! It was really really awkward.

Wedensday

Yesterday I was absent for my first class because I woke up late. I woke up at 6:30 for my 7 am class and UP is not near Makati at all. Assuming that I was quick to get ready, lets say it took me 25 minutes to shower, dress up, eat breakfast, i would go down the house then cross the street to the car, get all my things inside, back the car up from the garage, ill probably get to leave at 7:00 and arrive at UP by 7:20, BUT I wasn’t that quick to shower, or dress up, or eat breakfast so I was pretty late already and I decided not to go to my first class.

And i forgot that we didn’t have class today for my 8:30-10:00 class so I just slept in the car. Yey! I hit with my friend franklin at 10:00 and I saw my other crush! Hihi!

Yes, sorry I have a bunch of crushes, but they’re harmless crushes. Hahahaha!

I hit really well with franklin. I don’t know if every girl tennis player can relate to me, but I hit way better when I play with a guy than when I play with a girl.

oh and can i just say i am so very proud of my friend, KIM GUILLERMO. she did so well during her college years and now she is doing so well post-grad as well. and i really hope she gets employed in Xavier as a teacher! 

So anyway, after playing, I had lunch with my math groupmates and we did our Tessellation project. I went to my next class at 1-2:30(yawn), and finally to my math class from 2:30-4. It was our exam day. the questions were hard like what are numbers? Whats infinity? I mean how do you answer that right? Hahaha! Well I just wrote what I learned.

Andddd my teammates and I got a new crush. I can’t believe my week has been full of crushes. K So yeah. He needed a group so he joined ours. My teammate asked for his name so she can write it, and he had an Australian accent. :> hahahahaahhaha! It was so funny because after that, my teammate turned towards us and she put her index finger to her nose, as if to say nosebleed, and we start laughing, and when I saw him look I was so embarrassed because he probably knew it was because of him. I got so red! So I just hid my face by resting my head on my arm on my desk. Hahaha

I was so hyper in training as well. My game was so bad but I was so happy. I even got into trouble for being too loud. Hahaah! SORRY COACH. I had to do extra conditioning but it’s fine. I admit, I was very unruly.

Oh and I got to talk to kuya Walden that night. We talked about what God is calling us to do. We were just chatting because he’s in a different country now, but even though we were only talking through facebook chat, we both felt the Holy Spirit in our conversation. My heart was so heavy again, and I was tearing up, and he told me he was too. It was amazing. I’ll blog about it some other time. He asked me to read the book of Job, so now; I am getting my devotions from the book of Job.' 

i am so thankful to have spiritual leaders and mentors like kuya walden in my life. 

Tuhday!

Today I didnt have class at all, so I don’t know why I was in school so early. i also put on make-up because i wanted to try this mascara trick my friend, bea taught me, and turns out she was right. i curled my eyelashes and put on mascara, and i played tennis twice today and it stayed up! AMAZING! so I hit from 10-11, did homework, then slept and waited for training.

During training, I played soooo well. Im happy. I had awesome devotions too! I started reading job 1 and 2, and I cried. God was with me. I’m so happy. I’m truly happy.

 

“The Lord gave me what I had, and The Lord has taken it away. Praise the name of the Lord!”- Job 1:21

“Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble?”- Job 2:10

for tomorrow and saturday, i'm just looking forward to spending time with my friends. hopefully i get to sleepover at Sam's or Nicca's house. i looking forward to Youth service as well. 

i am excited for what God has in store for me:)

INTO THE GREAT WIDE OPEN

i just want to share this video! it's a music video for the song called "Into The Great Wide Open" by tom petty and The Heartbreakers. i actually think it's a nice song, and it attracted me more because Johnny Depp is the star of the Music Video. 

ENJOY!

one sunday evening

I forgot when these pictures were taken, but this was in our church Word For The World Christian Fellowship in Salcedo Makati.

People were actually teasing me with what I was wearing. Some said I look like I was gonna sing in the praise and worship team, some said I looked old because of what I was wearing. Hahaha! One even tried opening my collar hahaha:)) But I really loved it; I love the blouse and the closed collar. I love how I paired it with a high-waisted flowy skirt that isn’t too short for church. And I love the simple, bronze cube necklace that I had on.

Anyway, these are just some of the pictures taken that day; I’ll post everything on my facebook! http://www.facebook.com/sjrlim

Kim, jake, and Kevin visited that day! I don’t really see these people so I am glad that they came.

I missed nicci too, cause she doesn’t really get to go on Saturdays because of her Saturday class. Boo!