a mouthful of coffee

Seeing old photographs of us is like grinding coffee beans in my own mouth.

what happened to us? i've always pictured my college years spent in each other's houses having sleepovers and laughing the hours away. i always thought we'd be sharing our first job hunting experience and ranting in frustration of the wrong turns and wasted gas trying to find the right street. i imagined having this lifelong bond filled with memories of when we were just little children with no sense of the real world.

often i've wondered about the what ifs. what if i wasn't such an immature jerk? what if i remained the quiet people-pleaser that i was, would things have been better? was this really God's plan or was it mine?

how long will these memories keep me company? i've tried shoving them deep into the unconscious, yet it finds a way back. i've tried the whole crying it out, but somehow, i ran out of tears long before i ran out of memories.

maybe i just have to forgive myself. maybe i just have to forgive you.

wide awake cover

do use your earphones because my recording is pretty soft:)

payphone cover

the recording at the start is really bad i dont know why. i tried recording it over and over again and the result is the same. the volume messes up, but i promise it gets better, so dont stop it just yet:))

this is my cover of maroon 5's song payphone.

dont mind the plucking, im not very good at that hahaha enjoy!

CLICK MEEEE

something you feel strongly about. blog challenge

You know how some boys know just what to say and what to do to get you interested, then he keeps you hanging till you realize you just got screwed by a boy who was just looking for someone to entertain himself? Or How about boys who flirt with you and then flirts with other girls too? One more, boys who know the girl is already taken and they continue to make their move just cause the boyfriend is not present. I just want to applaud those men, I mean, boys who do these things. Clap clap clap!

I always thought respecting a woman would always be the latest fashion, but no, it gets shadier and shadier as time passes. Ok, im not limiting these traits to boys, I know some girls do it to and I despise it equally; not the person, the behavior. We should all just avoid getting into these things with these people. Why enter something you know will fail. Find a good person, and also be a good person. It works better that way. 

UNIGAMES DAY 1

every year during the semestral we have this tournament, Unigames. it's short for university games. the different universities around the philippines travel to one place, to play against each another for the unigames title. 

this year's unigames is held at Bacolod. it' day 2 and it has been very eventful so far. 

yesterday, we all met up at 3:30 am at the airport because our flight is at 4:55.  we found out that we were sharing a flight with the UST team so we got to say hi to our former coach, coach gabby. the plain left on time and arrived at bacolod 15 mins early, so my sleep wasn't that satisfying. sp anyway, the morning and afternoon of bacolod was draggy, because we were tired, we didn't have a hotel yet, we were hungry, etc. so we decided to sleep after lunch and just catch the masskara festival at night. we didn't get to see the dance, but we did get to go around, take pictures, buy masks. lol. it was fun, good fun. we ate at this place called manokan, and i believe i ate a lot but for some reason i wasn' that full, so that was a bummer. it was a good first day. 

AND HERE ARE THE PICTURES. 

AIRPLANE/AIRPORT

lead me to the cross

i really don't know where God is leading me. he's giving me new people, and he's allowing me to break away from some. he's giving me opportunities i never thought i would have. he is allowing me to do things i never thought i would do. i honestly don't know where this is all headed, but i have faith in God that wherever he is leading me, it's the path to Him, to eternal life with Him.

It's OK to be Different

For the first time in my life i feel like i made a choice that wasn't influenced by society. Like i said, i've always wanted to have this kind of hair but what stopped me? It's the thought that society won't accept different and society has this specific criteria for beauty. But i'm happy that for once i did not succumb to the beauty standards of the world. And after doing this, inside i felt set free! Like i'm another step away from my insecurity.

For someone struggling with insecurity, this is a big deal. It's a big mountain that i climbed and that's why i feel so happy. Not everyone likes my hair. probably most people don't but i did't shave (1/3 of) my head for them. I did this for me.

Don't let the world dictate your appearance. As long as its fine in the eyes of God and it's not causing anyone to stumble, go for it! Do not be a prisoner of the standards of this world.

"People look on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart." 1 samuel 16:7

And i also find it funny how some people immediately think that it's a form of rebellion. Hahaha! I do believe many people conform to society because of fear of their criticism, and or rejection. And i do believe each person is different and will make different choices if given the opportunity and acceptance to be different:)

DO IT!

so i got my hair cut today... cut.. more like shaved:)) i shaved one side of my head. i've always wanted to do this but it was never the hairstyle that was normally accepted by society so i never pushed through with it, but after two of my friends had their hair done that way, i decided to just go on with it.

i'm very ecstatic about it. i love it! i love my hair even if i know many people don't like it:)) i'm actually very proud of myself because i usually really cared about what people thought but this time around i'm not gonna let society dictate what i want. i did what i've always wanted to do without the influence of society, and i'm very happy.

and this is my hair:)

SING TO ME

a song i wrote for my grandmother. she's in the USA now. she's living there. she, along with my grandfather, and my auntie, have been there since i was in grade three. i miss them so much. at first i couldn't finish this song smoothly cause i was choking by the end, trying not to cry. hahahaa! but yeah. it's a really nice song.

love you mommy lola. i hope you like it. and i know you will cry so be ready with tissue as you listen:)

HERE YOU GO CLICK THIS

Remember when I was a child

Youd tuck me in every night

Sing me a lullaby

Before you kissed me goodnight

I pray with my heart

 As I lay myself to sleep

That one day youll be here with me

Sing to me once more

Like you did before

And everything will be complete

Songs that we shared

Our little duets

Though so long ago

Still embraces my soul

I pray with my heart

 As I lay myself to sleep

That one day youll be here with me

Sing to me once more

Like you did before

And everything will be complete

Come home

come home

dont leave anymore

stay here

stay here

dont walk out the door

dont walk out the door

I pray with my heart

 As I lay myself to sleep

That one day youll be here with me

Sing to me once more

Like you did before

And everything will be complete

my beautiful one

this is called, my beautiful one. i'll probably share a little bit about this song. i was going through a rough time with insecurities, the original lyrics of this song didn't send a good message, and it brought me down further. so i did my devotions, and i read song of solomon. its a wonderful book in the bible. it can be and illustration of Jesus' love for the church but it leans more on the love of a husband and wife.

for all the girls who struggle with insecurity, this is for you. God loves you no matter what you look like, no matter how imperfect you are.

MY BEAUTIFUL ONE 

click me

You never feel pretty enough

Staring at your reflection

Close your eyes, you see the girl

You could be. You wish in your heart

           

Hoping that one day I’ll see

That girl in the mirror, smiling beautifully.

You are my child you’re special

 don’t you think you are not and just remember you are

My beloved

You are mine

My beautiful one!

Insecurity, consuming you

Resisting, losing the fight

Jesus please, be with me

Embrace me, I need you Lord

I am weak but I know you’re strong

Oh God, the lover of my soul.

Take my tears as an offering Lord,

Hear your daughter’s crying spirit tonight

My beloved

You are mine

My beautiful one

Lovely

Wonderful

You are worth

  

I know you more than anyone else

I love you nevertheless    

My daughter just remember you are

My lily among the thorns

Nothing can separate you from my love

just a sec

another cutsie song:)) i hope you enjoy it. i just realized i have to start posting my lyrics so people can actually understand the words i'm saying so here.

listen HERE

or HERE

or HERE

(verse 1)
i saw you from across the block
it got hot and everything stopped
sweat coming out of my little hands
my heart doing a little dance

(chorus)
oh my god. just a sec.
hold on let me catch my breath
cause when you are around
oxygen's nowhere to be found

can you stay away
before my heart will utter to say
these words are for you
dont you know that mmm mmm mmm

(verse 2)
pretty please will you shut up now
dont you dare make another sound
cause if you sing another song
my beating heart might just sing along

(chorus)

(verse 3)
the heck are you doing so close to me
can you hear me breathing uncontrollably
why are you reaching out your hand
or am i just daydreaming again

(chorus)

(bridge)
im about to run away from you
before that hug me just another second or two
wait i change my mind ill just stay a bit longer
from this moment until we reach forever and ever

(chorus)

woopsies!

this is the 3rd song i made. it's called woopsies. You won't really hear me singing that much, it's more of me sounding like im ranting hahahaha:)) but in the chorus it gets really high so im falsetto-ing my way to that:))

my excuse is that the chords change fast so i got stuck with the key of c:))) which is high for me since i am an A person. oh well.

i hope you enjoy the lyrics and the very cute tune. it could pass for a nursery rhyme:))

OH AND IM SORRY FOR THE POOR RECORDING. MY MIC BROKE</3

CLICK ME TO LISTEN

or me

or me

or me if all else fails:))




LISTEN TO MY COVERS?

I'LL BE YOUR FRIEND

this is a song i wrote a few weeks back. don't ask me the story behind it or who it's for etc. i just want people to hear my song and maybe they can relate to it, but the story behind it is mine. make your own stories with this song:)

ENJOY!:)

CLICK HERE TO LISTEN!!

or maybe HERE if its not working

this little girl

i apologize because i wasnt always right
i apologize because i hurt you tonight
i apologize because i didnt think of you
i apologize because of what i do

now i see the fruit of my labor
all that is written in this paper
youre reaping all that i have sown
i should have just been alone

now too scared to get up on stage
to continue on the very next page
to dance and leap and glide again
to believe and know that you truly can

are you able to get up once more
after falling so many times before
is it possible to fly with broken wings
will you still live out our dreams

fear came from what has been
through all of the things ive known and seen
i could have thought and saved it all
but who could have known when she would fall

dont lose hope, i know your strength
a wonderful future at an arm's length
listen when i say please forgive me
-  a letter from the little girl you used to be

for my family

what i desire for my family is that one day...

* we will have family devotions time/bible study.
* we children will honor our parents just as God has intended for us to do
* our parents will be leading this family according to God's Word
* we will all share in our deep love for Jesus
* my brothers will be teaching in cell groups
* my parents will be serving in the church
* this house will be God's house.
* my family will have Jesus in the center

never stop

i greatly admire those christians who continue to walk in faith even if their families aren't christians. if you are one of those people, i salute you. it's not easy submitting to parents who are unbelievers. it's not easy praying for your family and having them despise you for wanting them to be saved. it's not easy seeing your family do things that aren't pleasing in God's eyes. you wish you could just pick them up, drop them in church, then BAM they love God. but it's not that easy...

you have to get down on your knees a lot. you have to shed a myriad of tears. you have to open yourself up to rejection. you have to be patient and loving and kind. most of all, you have to be brokenhearted for them. deeply in anguish for their spirits. its not about proving your point that there is a God or they need God. its about loving God that you want Him to be worshiped by every soul. its about loving your family that you want them to be saved and be with God in paradise for all eternity.

it hurts. it hurts deeply. but with God, all things are possible. through Jesus, blind eyes are open and strongholds are broken!

the anne curtis

i find it amazing how my drawing is circulating around the internet AND ITS NOT EVEN PRO LOOKING:))) its all because anne curtis is the subject!

oh and im blogging about this just cause anne curtis tweeted me for it. im such a fan girl, but come on guys. its anne curtis:))) i dont care:))) i am a starstruck kilig one:)) i needed to record this moment and so it deserves a spot on my blog hahaha! kbye:)))

here's the drawing if you haven't seen it.

AND THIS IS THE DRAWING GETTING 11000 PLUS HITS ON ANNE CURTIS' INSTAGRAM

AND THE DRAWING GETTING 3000 PLUS HITS ON VHONG'S FANPAGE

AND THIS IS THE DRAWING GETTING 20 HITS ON MY PAGE....:)))

I THEREFORE CONCLUDE THAT ITS NOT THE DRAWING, ITS THE ANNE CURTIS:))

all for love

have you ever felt alone? lost a lot of friends? i have. it was a horrible time. have you ever had a brother or sister say, "i hate you!" or "i wish you were never my sister"? i have. it hurts so much. have you ever been betrayed by a friend you trusted. i have. it affected how i look at people and relationships. ive been slapped before too. the physical pain was bearable, but the hurt behind it. the story behind it hurt more.

ive never experienced being beaten up or being spat on. ive never experienced having completely no one to run to because i always had my family.

jesus was betrayed by his most trusted. denied by the person he loves. rejected by many. falsely accused by a lot. spat on and slapped a lot of times. tortured and beaten up. he was mentally, emotionally, and physically tormented.

you havent felt the stress jesus felt. you have never experienced the emotional pain jesus felt. you haven't experienced the physical torture jesus went through. and im sure no one had gone through the spiritual journey jesus went through.

all his time on earth he knew how he should leave it; on the cross. every year he took one step closer to the tortures that he was about to face, and that is a heck of a spiritual battle.

i hope we could all remember what Jesus did for us. he loves us. he loves each and every one of those who slapped him, beat him, spat on him, betrayed him, denied him, rejected him, ridiculed him.

im sorry jesus. im sorry if i spiritually spat on your face everytime i sin. im sorry if i hit you, or i betrayed you or denied you. forgive me. thank you for loving me with a love that i dont deserve. i love you so much.

5 ways to win my heart

Just cause i want to start blogging again I’m doing another challenge. I’m gonna do two categories of this 5 ways to win my heart. 

can i be a werewolf

i'm not sure if i've posted about imprinting before, but sometimes i wish we could all just imprint on someone. for all those who don't know what imprinting is, its a term you will find in the twilight saga. when a werewolf imprints on someone, the werewolf would be totally devoted to him/her, and there is no one else for that werewolf.

if people imprinted, we'd all be saved from the drama of finding out who we will really end up with.

"i will love you for you"

WHAT LOVE REALLY MEANS j.j. heller

He cries in the corner where nobody sees


He's the kid with the story


No one would believe


He prays every night
"

Dear God won't you please


Could you send someone here


Who will love me?"



Who will love me for me


Not for what I have done


Or what I will become


Who will love me for me


'Cause nobody has shown me what love


What love really means



Her office is shrinking a little each day


She's the woman whose husband has run away


She'll go to the gym after working today

Maybe if she was thinner


Then he would've stayed


And she says... 


Who will love me for me


Not for what I have done


Or what I will become


Who will love me for me


'Cause nobody has shown me what love


What love really means


What love really means



He's waiting to die as he sits all alone


He's a man in a cell who regrets what he's done


He utters a cry from the depths of his soul


"Oh Lord, forgive me,

I want to go home"



Then he heard a voice somewhere deep inside


And it said, 


"I know you've murdered and I know you've lied


And I have watched you suffer all of your life


And now that you'll listen I'll, I'll tell you that I..."



I will love you for you


Not for what you have done


Or what you will become


I will love you for you


I will give you the love


The love that you never knew


Love you for you


Not for what you have done


Or what you will become


I will love you for you


I will give you the love


The love that you never knew

worst feeling ever

if you're a Christian, you probably get me when i say God is so good and so loving and kind and wonderful and beautiful. He is perfect. and here we are, the Christians, who are supposed to be representatives of Him in this world. how do we do that?

the worst feeling in the world is to disappoint God. instead of others seeing Him in you, they associate your negative attitudes to Him. i am so ashamed. i am hurt by it too. i don't want people to think that how i am is how my God is. its very far. He's so perfect, i'm far from that.

i get sad thinking that i can't really show who Jesus is through me, so i just try the best way that i can and pray really hard that they get a chance to experience God for themselves.

it find it better for me to sin that to misrepresent Jesus to others. it kills me to think they think God is less than perfect.

baby finn's dance

i just want to share one part of my favorite Adventure Time Episode. in this part Marceline is inside Finn's memories, and she finds a baby finn dancing and singing in front of the mirror. one of the best parts of the series.

imperfect

everyday is a day i have to give something up. i am not perfect yet because i am still in my flesh. i am still sinful. i am still living in the world. perfection is attained when i am with my Father in heaven, where He makes all things perfect. but as of now, i am still a working progress. a body being prepared to enter His holy kingdom. every day i still have to purge out the evil from me. every day i still have to surrender something to God. every day i have to ask for forgiveness. every day i have to ask God to cleanse me and change me. 

i still have a lot to give up, but i am willing to patiently go through the long process of purification.  its frustrating to see all the sins living in me, but getting rid of them is not an easy task. that's why i ask Him to lead me in this because i cannot do good without the source of goodness. i cannot kick out evil with nothing. i kick out evil with good. i can only kick out evil with God. 

Lord, forgive me for the things i've done that have hurt you. i am sorry for disobeying You. i am sorry for choosing sin over You. i am sorry if i haven't represented You well to others. i am deeply rebuked and sad for the times that i have made your image poor. forgive me. i ask You to continue to rebuke me and discipline me, Father, so that i am changed to be more and more like You. Jesus, i want Your light to shine through me, and i humbly submit to Your will that everything You desire be done. i am assured that whatever you give me is for Your greater glory, and for my own sake. Consume me, Father. Keep me in your presence. Never let me go. i never want to break free from Your wonderful embrace. I love you so much. Thank You for loving me. in Jesus' mighty name i pray, Amen. 

Dear Friend,

dear friend, i wish i could save you from what you are going through. i wish i could help you with that trial. i wish i could save you from it, but God didn't give it for the both of us. so while you are bearing that burden, my ears are ready to listen. i am willing to share the heartache. i will be with you through it. i don't want to see you cry alone; i will cry with you. i am here for you.

i know that He's teaching you something that's why you're going though that right now. i know that after this, you are a stronger version of yourself. i know that this will all come to pass and i know that you will overcome it and you will be victorious, but right now you just gotta be strong and endure. i know you can do it, because He is able. i know you can take it because He does not give us anything we cannot handle.

i hope you don't try to carry all of this by yourself, because He gave me to you for a reason. He gave you your friends for a reason. You don't have to be strong alone. get your strength from Him, from me, from your other friends. i am willing to give it to you. don't give up. i won't give up on you.

remember that i love you. He loves you so much more.

shielded

i used to be the type of person who readily gave me heart out to others, but growing up i learned that it's not really a good idea. i'm so guarded now, so scared. im not just talking about boy-girl relationships, but friendships too. im fearful of rejection and disappointment that sometimes i find myself pulling away. 

i want to break down these walls. there are people i love so much, and when i feel myself really loving them, i start holding back. i know its not possible for someone to avoid hurting me, but i have yet to know who from the people in my life will be there till the end. 

help me break down these walls, will you?

I Am Secured

I don’t know if anyone else agrees with me on this but the unknown makes me really uncomfortable. Ive asked questions like

Will I be poor when I grow up or will I  get to give my children everything they need?

What job will I get?

Am on the right course?

When will I get married?

Who will I get married to? Do I have the right friends?

Am I on the right path?

Will I love my job or will I be forced to do something I don’t enjoy?

Will I have children?

Will I love them?

Will I be a good parent?

Will my marriage last?

And many more!

But with all of this I learned to trust God. And If I let Him lead my life, will He not lead me to a prosperous satisfying one? Did He not say He brings victory? Did He not say he brings satisfaction? Did He not say He blesses the path of those who belong to Him? There are so many promises God has given me, us, but those promises come with responsibilities on our part. 

Yes he blesses our path, but if that path is His path. Yes He brings victory, but to those who take refuge in Him. Yes, He gives satisfaction, but to those who seek Him and not this world. 

I have learned that if I walk in the ways of my Lord, and if everything I do will be a pleasing sacrifice to Him (pleasing sacrifice meaning it’s the best because God deserves nothing but the best), then I have nothing to fear. My future is secure. I will not be in need. I will not be in want. For my provider is the creator if this universe, what can He not give me? Nothing, but I know He will give me everything I need that will lead me straight to Him. 

Back for now

I miss blogging. I miss putting my thoughts into words and sharing it with the world. I haven't blogged in forever because my laptop broke. Its a funny story that i'll be glad to share with all of you.

One normal afternoon i was at the dinning table blogging away. My dad was preparing his coffee. Carrying the pitcher of water, he went up to me to ask me something. It all happened so fast but i remember it so well since it was such a dreadful moment. The pitcher almost slipped from my dad's grip so he tried catching it and he did but when he caught it the water spilled over my laptop. It was as if my laptop went on a bath. The water was overflowing! I didnt know what to do. My laptop shut down. I was silent and shocked.

Until now my laptop is still useless and im still laptop-less. Trying to do everything manually by printing the things i need. When i need to go online i go to my mom's office in the other building to use the computer. When i want to just browse the net i just settle for my iphone.

Its hard but oh well. Im using the ipad now. I hate it. Hahahaha! I just really wanted to blog. Goodnightsieeesss:)

i would love to be disciplined by you

sometimes i wish i could just rid myself of all ungodliness. everyday i ask God to reveal to me things that i need to change about myself and what is in my heart that displeases him. what i find amazing is that he actually answers me immediately through others. what's more amazing is that he doesn't really reveal to me what i've done already but he reveals to me what is already stirring up in my heart so it can be prevented. it hurts to know of course. no rebuke, reprimand, discipline is pleasant but it's purpose and it's product is good. i become more like Him. i become closer to Him. i am humbled. i am chiseled. i am purified. i am molded.

it's wonderful to know that God is listening to me everytime i pray, everytime i speak to Him. its amazing to me that i witness his movement in my life.

tsk tsk tsk

tsk tsk tsk. that's what i hear in my head when i know something isn't right. my humanity takes over as though i am not in control. what am i doing? i go on and on. stop. blah blah blah. no. no. no. silence.

i can never be God's perfect little girl in this body. although i live in the spirit, i am still confined in this finite home. my spirit constantly battles with my flesh. i sin. i still sin. and im sorry. i wish i could stop, highlight, delete, then type again. but i cant. my conscience pesters me even with little things- things that are not really alarming. to the world it might be nothing, but to me it is everything. guilt consumes me as though i committed murder. a little skin beyond the line and i feel like i've jumped over it. but im glad.

im glad that i feel guilty. im glad that God still shows me when i am out of line. im glad that i know when i make Him sad or mad. im still human. sinning is inevitable, but then i have God. forgiveness is freely given. Thank You, Father, that i can run to you at times when i fail. Thank You, Jesus, that you see my repentant heart and You forgive me. Thank You, Holy Spirit, for consuming me and continually purifying me. Thank You for Your love. Than You for your patience. Thank You for Your grace.

Tertris Battle

if there is one thing you would choose never to feel or experience, what would it be? my choice would be rejection. i don't fear death and yet just the thought of being rejected makes me want to crawl up in the corner of my room and make my home there. its very evident that the within me is a Tetris wall of issues under the game called insecurity. insecurity is my weakness. blocks and blocks of issues pile up inside leaving gaps and holes that long to be filled. 

but you know the good news? in this world i need different pieces that fit perfectly to make it all go away, but my omnipresent, omniscient, omnipotent father filled all those distinct holes already. Fact remains that the game continues. Challenges still fall, but im not playing this game anymore. i already gave the controls to the game master himself, He who is undefeated in all ways. i can't run from my emotions, it will always be there. i am still in this game. But within me, in my very core, though i know the battle is still ongoing, i am assured of victory. i can sleep soundly at night dreaming of the day that it all ends. i have this internal peace that calms my soul. 

yes i know how to play tetris. i could be good at it, but i'm not the best at it. the wall piles up until it can't be contained anymore. but we know that the ridiculously great player can choose to build that wall before he brings it down or he can choose not to bring it up at all. Whatever the strategy is, He is in control. He makes everything fall to its place according to His perfect plan. let's stop trying to grab the controls from His hand. the Creator is always greater than the Creation. Trust. Faith. 

He will never leave you nor forsake you (Heb 13:5). His way is perfect (2 sam 22:31). The works of his hands are faithful and just (psalm 111:7). despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us (romans 8:37). I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and heart (john 14:27). In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world (john 16:33). peace I leave with you, my peace i give you... do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid (John14:27). But whoever listens to me will live in safety and be at east, without fear of harm (prov 1:33).

a wonderful eternity

the desire for your embrace is so great it makes my eyes flood. i'm thankful for this life, but i'd rather be with you. i read this book entitled Twelve Extraordinary Women and i thought i found myself on the pages of that book, only my name was different. 

she watched him slowly slip away from her world. sorrow engulfed her when she realized he's gone. she longed for his presence. she yearned for his love. when she finally saw him she was overjoyed. she wanted to put her arms around the only man who truly loved her. she wanted to throw herself at his feet and hold on to him forever. 

if i could, i would hug him too. if i could, i would let my forehead kiss his feet and cry and cry and cry. i would cry all the words i couldn't say and i know he will understand. there's no adjective that can explain how much i'm looking forward to being with him. years from now before my body finally rests before my eyes bid the world goodbye, before my lungs give back to the world the borrowed breaths, i'll smile and think about him. then my heart will give one last powerful beat and i'll be where he will wipe every tear from my eyes. where there will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain (rev 21:4). but as for now, i will hold on to that hope, and i will continue to fight the good fight in living for my God. 

learning to be the light

lyrics

today our tagaytay trip finally pushed through. a few weeks ago gestee and i were talking about our dream to go to a place alone and just meditate on the Word. That was the plan! we'll go to tagaytay together, separate then just meet back after. i don't know how keith got in the picture but he did. hahahaha! just kidding keith:) 

i don't want to bore anyone with details. i would just describe how the day was for me. 

i really needed this escape, this retreat, this break. it was good to be there in a peaceful place with 2 friends. we didn't have a concrete plan. we didn't really know where to go. we went on an adventure. it was wonderful. 

we finally rested at the picnik grove, where we separated to have our quiet time. later we met up to bond. 

lovely day. 

How Great is Our God Chorus

i really have been wanting to make a cover for the past months unfortunately though i haven't gotten 'round to finding the perfect Christian song for my voice. Christian songs are actually very hard to sing. but anyway, i was with my church friends, Gestee and Keith, today and they wanted to play around with my mic. we really wanted to do a christian song but we couldn't find the right instrumental so they suggested to do it acapella. we tried to do the whole song but it was hard so we just did the chorus haha! it's very short but enjoy:) 

love song for you

i dedicate this song to you. you who felt rejected, insecure, broken, alone, down, hurt, and every emotion and thought that is bringing you down. 

GOD IS SINGING TO YOU. 

micah's 18th birthday

Last april 4 our cousin, Micah, had her debut at Metropolitan Club. this is the first time my family and i attended something together and got all dressed up, hence i am posting these pictures on my blog. it just makes me happy seeing my family together and looking gorgeous haha!

Sam, Stephen, Shoti, my mom, me and my dad

life-changing experience

My first camp was back in 2009. I was forced by my parents to attend. Of course I didn’t want to go. I didn’t know anyone. I would be out-of-place, and to think I’m the type of person who hates being in a room full of strangers. That was 3 years ago. Now I can tell you that going to camp was one of the best things that ever happened in my life.

For those who knew me in grade school and in high school,

a heart to love

It’s like every night a wonderful miracle happens. Last night it was my friend, tonight, it's my brother's friend. 

For so long, I’ve been praying to God to help me love the people around me, not only people i enjoy and like, not only people i know and people im familiar with but people i don’t know, people who hurt me, people i don't get a long with, people who im angry with, who don’t like me, etc. today, God showed me that He is able. 

what God showed me today is that every person has a story to tell.

BECAUSE OF GOD, I HAVE YOU

For the past hours I’ve been trying to invite people to our church’s youth camp. Not even realizing it, but it became an opportunity for me to live out this year’s camp’s theme, UNASHAMED. I have always feared rejection, and my inviting people to the camp- people I haven’t talked to in a while, people who would probably just laugh at me for inviting them, etc- became one testimony of my being UNASHAMED for God.

One other marvelous thing that happened today is that through my inviting, I was able to talk to other Christians on fire for God. One specifically is my friend MP. I was able to talk to her again after I think 3 years. We talked about our little testimonies. We shared thoughts and opinions. We encouraged each other and im sure we both inspired each other. MP is my guardian angel tonight. Because of her, I was encouraged to keep being UNASHAMED for God. Because of what MP said, I was able to get strengthened and keep walking. I believe that things happen for a reason, and I know that tonight God spoke to me through MP. HE used MP to comfort me and encourage me.

dreams really do come true. WAS ABLE TO LEARN TO PLAY THE UKE!

WARNING:

i'm just posting this video because i am so happy that i learned to play the ukulele. i started legit practicing this morning and by tonight i was able to finish songs, although not perfectly. 

it was so funny because last night i tried learning it and gave up so quickly cause my friend and i chose a song that obviously wasn't for beginners:)) i am very thankful that my aunt told me to start with IM YOURS by jason mraz and THE SHOW by lenka because it helped a lot. 

anyway, i started looking for other easy songs, and i found this. and im very happy. i just want to share this video of me playing and singing somewhere over the rainbow. (just the first part at least hahaha)

its not perfect. it actually would be really bad for musicians to hear but im a beginner! gah!:)) just really happy:") 

IT STARTS PRETTY ROUGH AND IT PICKS UP:> SO ITS BETTER TO FINISH THE VIDEO:))

thank you SAMANTHA MAY BUTING CHUA MONROY

this is how a real man takes out mice

THIS VIDEO IS A MUST SEE AND DESERVES A SPOT ON MY BLOG. 

you will see my brother, who is deadly afraid of mice, trying to take out the mouse that got trapped in the sticky thing. while he is trying to take it out, he is freaking out. 

AND I JUST WANT TO POINT OUT THAT THE MOUSE IS AS SMALL AS MY FINGER. AND I HAVE PRETTY SMALL HANDS:>

LANDSLIDE COVER

i found this song while reading Perks of Being a Wallflower and i instantly loved it. i always sing it so i decided to make a cover for it and here it goes.  

Took my love and I took it down
Climbed a mountain and I turned around
And I saw my reflection in the snow covered hills
Well, the landslide brought me down

Oh, mirror in the sky, what is love?
Can the child within my heart rise above?
Can I sail through the changing ocean tides?
Can I handle the seasons of my life?

Well, I've been afraid of changin'
'Cause I've built my life around you
But time makes bolder, children get older
I'm getting older too, well
[ From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/d/dixie-chicks-lyrics/landslide-lyrics.html ]

Well, I've been afraid of changin'
'Cause I've built my life around you
But time makes bolder, children get older
I'm getting older too, well, I'm getting older too

So take this love and take it down
Yeah, and if you climb a mountain and you turn around
And if you see my reflection in the snow covered hills
Well, the landslide brought down

And if you see my reflection in the snow covered hills
Well maybe, well maybe, well maybe
The landslide will bring you down

for you, and you, and you, and you, and you.

when I hear this song, I remember a bunch of people. I think of those close to me who have never known Jesus. I think of those people who have lost their way. I think of those people who are drowned by their problems. I think of those people who are unhappy. I think of those people who don’t know the path that they’re walking on and where it leads.

I cry for these people. I pray for these people. im not just talking about people I don’t know, who are going through this.. I know these people, and I long for the salvation of these people. I want them to be happy, really happy. I want them to have peace. You can’t find that anywhere else except in the arms of Jesus.

I want to be with them in heaven.

This is for you. I love you.

Day 28- something that you miss

One thing that I’ve been missing for the past days is dancing. dancing has been a part of my life since I was very very very young, so it’s new for me not to have it. I remember when I was in grade school and people would ask me which I would choose, dancing or tennis, I’d say dancing, but I knew that my key to college is tennis, so I can’t really give it up. During my fourth year in high school, I stopped dancing for boosters because I had to concentrate on my tennis, and now I miss it a lot.

I’m planning to join a dance workshop for the summer. i miss learning awesome choreography. I miss learning new kinds of dances. I miss getting challenged. I miss performing :)

facing temptation

proverbs 4:14-15 says "Don't do as the wicked do, and don't follow the path of evildoers. Don't even think about it; don't go that way. Turn away and keep moving."

who wants to dance this with meeeee?

i wanna learn this and i probably will:)) but its no fun if i have no one to dance with:))

dance

BEAUTIFUL

day 27- your favorite place

i really don't know if i have a favorite place but there are a few places that popped in my head when i was thinking about this blog topic. i think i love these places because there were good memories made there. i will share what i can remember.

1.     subic

·      shoti’s first birthday. I had fun spending shoti’s birthday living in one house with julien, tita shiella, Isabella, and my family. we made birthday cakes in the sand.

·      2010 team building. We went to subic for our team building. We stayed at one of the men’s team member’s house. We went to the beach and my batchmates and I experienced out initiation. Hahahaha! We also went dancing at night and had so much fun. Love my teammates.

·      subic with family and relatives and tennis friends.  we went to subic and stayed in one hotel. We swam in the pool. We went to zoobic. We went to ocean park. We went to treetop adventure!

2.     powerplant mall

·      our family mall. My family has been going to powerplant for as long as I can remember. We rarely go to other malls. We are loyal to Rockwell.

·      Picture cards. I remember I have a bunch of picture cards, which are now lost, from Rockwell. While everyone was collecting jewella pictures, I was collecting picture cards. Haha!

·      Rockwell club. I love the Rockwell gym becayse I always go there. That gym has seen all the sizes of me. Hahaha! I also like swimming there. I love how there’s an underwater glass window where the people in the gym can see inside the water.

3.     tagaytay

·      Grade 7 field trip. I loved my grade 7 field trip. I almost spent the whole time in tagaytay highands horseback riding all by myself. I enjoyed making the horse run really really fast.

·      Tagaytay with kiele and marielle. I remember going there with kiele, ielle, kiele’s brother and kiele’s dad. We went horseback riding and the horse was trying to bite me! In the end the horse’s mouth piece clipped my leg and I had to go to a doctor.

·      Tagaytay with family and family friends. my family and julien’s family went to tagaytay. We stayed at tita shiella’s relative’s place. We had a bonfire. We made smores. We bonded. We had fun<3

·      Team building 2011. We had a stopover at tagaytay before going to laguna. It was December and it was intensely cold! I was already shaking from the cold. Most of us had to go inside the car and warm ourselves.

·      Ek tags trip. Bea, pang, JV, meds, and I went to Enchanted kingdom and had dinner  at tagaytay. Bonding with my loves.