kinda sad:( i've been fighting the insecurity, the body consciousness for a while now. and it seemed as though i already overcame it, but today i was on the losing side.
it breaks my heart how much i dont appreciate what i have.
i wish people didn't have to worry about their looks as much. i'd rather worry about my spiritual life. i'd rather worry about my relationships. i'd rather worry about making myself a better person on the inside.
insecurity is one of my greatest enemies. i know it hinders me from serving God completely. i hate it. i hate how its eating me alive.
i wish we could all just see the beautiful things in others and also ourselves. i wish i could make every single person feel good and happy about himself/herself.
i cant take criticism. i am very hard on myself. im not confident in trying new things. i am critical of myself when it comes to dancing singing and tennis.
i dont know why i try so hard to try to attain the standard of beauty of the world. i dont want to be trapped and enslaved by it.
sometimes i look in the mirror and i break down.
one thing i look forward to is the day i meet that person God intended for me who will love me for who i am, regardless of what it says on the weighing scale. that person who will aid me with my insecurity. that person who will love me beyond this decaying flesh.
I can't remember exactly how I got here but thank God, I am not alone...I sort of feel the same way most days. Judging from all the mirrors I pass by everyday...I look at me and woa, I see all the fat! huhu :(
ReplyDeleteBut always and always, I try to remind myself of God's love and how he sees right through me.
:( makes me cry whenever i hear of others who go through the same thing. ive been struggling for so long. i hope, with God's help, that we'll get through it one day. HUG, dear. YOU DONT NEED TO BE THIN TO BE BEAUTIFUL.
DeleteAww, thank you. Hugs too from Dubai. I'm not actually fat fat, but I'm kinda thicker than the girls in my int'l highschool, mahahh! I am sad that I cut my hair, my big hair...the only thing that I think makes it all right, so sexy, and so awesome all at the same time. I feel so weak, so broken down without my hair flowing long and wavy. But everything will be alright. I hope to you too! God is able to make us see beyond our outer clutter. Someday, we will be healthy, stretched, and free =) Bisous!
Deleteam i talking to myself!!!!! haha! i just cut my hair too! my security blanket. it was the only thing i held on to because i felt better with my long hair covering everything else. >:D< i'm sure youre gorgeous, dear:) and please please please surround yourself with people who will appreciate you:)
DeleteHi there! I know this is a bit odd, finding an acquaintance/almost-stranger's comment on one of your sad posts but I couldn't help it.
ReplyDeleteI just wanted to help by making you realise that at least you're getting somewhere! The first step to doing what is right is understanding what you're doing wrong. And just a thought: Maybe you don't need anyone to love you in spite of you think are your 'flaws' and help you overcome your insecurities. It's you who will love you for who you are.
I hope that whatever it is you're going through, you will eventually overcome it, Sarah.
no its not odd. i actually find it very kind and sweet. thank you, tasha:) i hear a lot about you from kim, and i hope i'll get a chance to know you personally:) HUG! thank you..
DeleteCan't express how much I can relate to this post, Sarah! ☹ I agree 10000x. I wish I didn't care about the standard of beauty in our world today either but then, it really is hard to deal with insecurity
ReplyDeletei know rightttttt. i used to say im a prisoner of the standards of this world. bea, we hve to break free from this. my friend thinks i need therapy. hahaha
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